Auto-Replace: Lowes to HomeDepot

I need to install this feature in my brain. I need a programmed reminder so that the instant I think to go to Lowes, it will kick in and drive me to Home Depot instead. 

Every time I need to go to a hardware store I immediately think Lowes. And Everytime I go there I cannot find what I want. I always know what I need, I know what it looks like, what it does, I remember seeing my Mom&Dad using it when I was little, but I just never know the technical name for it. And apparently the staff at Lowes speaks a different language – Hardwarese or Supplyish or Wrench. Usually I will find the aisle that has everything close to what I’m looking for, but not the actual item in my mind. A kind salesperson will come over to help me look, but since we don’t speak the same language we will stand there staring at the wall of items together with concerned looks on our faces. We make gestures to each other and speak in half sentences – trying to describe the item needed. We pick up random items with a desperate hope, reading labels, but always replacing it while shaking our heads and sighing. At some point I will put the poor person out of their misery by saying ‘thank you’ and walking away.

It happened again last night. Aaron asked me to stop and get wasp killer on the way home from work. “Just swing by Lowes and grab the biggest can they have”. So I did. I stopped at Lowes, thinking I would run in, grab the nearest sales person and be all set and checked out in 5 minutes. But no, it was not to be. I ran in, no salesperson in sight (except for the ones at the checkouts and they can’t leave their posts). But the Pest Killer aisle was right there! Yay! This should be easy! I knew what I needed, I can read, no problem, right? Wrong! Aisle 22 had bottles and bags of pest killer, but it was for ants, ticks, roaches, grubs, spiders, flys, gnats, mosquitos, japanese beetles, and every kind of bug you can think of EXCEPT wasps and hornets. None of those large aerosol spray cans in sight. So I went over and asked at the Service Desk – she told me to look in Aisle 22. And called someone to come help. Which was very nice of her. I gave the help about 20 seconds to show, then went back over to Aisle 22 on the off chance that I overlooked it in my haste. Nope, and on further reading most of the labels said that you were supposed to put all of this stuff on your lawn or the dirt around your house. Not what I wanted at all – you need to be able to shoot these waspies from far away and it’s gotta’ be a dead on spray. Help didn’t show after 2 minutes. I gave up and ran back to my car and drove across the street to Home Depot.

In the door and straight to the Pest Killer aisle (which oddly enough was in the same position in the store) and there it was! Large cans of Wasp Killer! Three to choose from! Right next to all the lawn spraying every other bug in the world killer stuff. Where it SHOULD have been at Lowes.

My explanation for this? I’m convinced that Home Depot has either women or southerners or both on their store layout committee, someone who speaks my language.

And just so you can be informed, the technical name for wasp killer spray is: SpectracidePRO® Wasp & Hornet Killer.